On God’s admonishment and acquiescence I dream to be in front of the Lord. The Lord is standing nearby. He is wearing a stole. Over the plagiarize he has got a wide omophorion over the shoulders. Over the omophorion he has got another stole. He tells me Why do you fight when you have no obedience? Why do you fight when you have no obedience? He tells me what my insubordination is. Wherever I was set to be an abbot, I would persistently deplore to be addressed from that imperative. Every given reverence should be done with a lot of compassion, zealously and dedicatedly , not paying attention to the evil and malouse that borders it and crusades against it. You see how difficult it is when it comes to reverence. We do not provide beings, we act God, Holy Church. That was the observance from the Lord. After that admonishment from the Lord I have been resolved from jobs three times until then – I was simply afraid. When a human goes too far .. God is Love. Many times He would warn me for many things. Thank you, Lord! I am thinking…who am I, a little warm, that God discourages me, somebody! We have to be very careful what we do.God is omnipresent. He governs the Holy Church. He rectifies and resolves from the duties. He legislates, acts. He does everything. We are just tools in God’s handwriting. However, we do not know what this is and we defy it. We compose disharmony. Therefore we pay for it. We is not wanted to humble. On self-pity and acquisition of devotion An abbot have now been get so many agitates. It is so difficult for me! When I was not an abbot, I would be careless. I was able to be concerned about the obedience pay close attention to me. I would not mull much. I do it and thank God. When a somebody starts to pray then … Holy father say that the most difficult thing is to pray. However, when you are zealous and when you get over self-pity, then the heart starts to enjoy devotion. It is always a short time for petition then. You use and the prayer extends constantly. Yes, yes. I used to think It would be easy. A worker should go to prayer like he is running towards death.No self-pity in devotion. It is better to die praying then to…We always anticipate I will go easy ..! Not possible! It does not go easier than i thought. One fret draws you in one direction, the other worry in another direction … etc. As an abbot it is very difficult to pray. On useless thoughts and insistence on the right path A adult recalls if he does not make , nothing will be reached. House, needs, occupation … The devil is a real little snake. He restrains making mess. He employs contemplates He does not looks just like you! If you consent his thought, it is over. He gains, you lose. Therefore we should have humbleness on our brains. That is the main thing. Purpose of Christian life is utter humility. If we left the world and everything then( without humility) we missed the extent, human. Why did “were leaving”? We lost everything. Life is short. During this short life we should make effort with Lord’s promotion. On the knack of free grace I was very surprised. I has not been able find it in bishops, pastors, friars to see that someone has free grace. The prayer extends, it is felt.Lay people have it, soul! There was a man from Bosnia, the capital city, Banja Luka. A young man would come many times. He cried with Jesus prayer long time. He cried to God. He had a friend who was married, had children, creation etc. He was not so pious until this young man started telling him how a person should be good and cry invariably. He learnt him how to pray Jesus prayer. He accepted it immediately with his nerve. He deferred his wife, children himself to the Lord. One date the two of them came. He tells me. Father, I did not know how to cry. He taught me Jesus prayer and I accepted it with my nature. Lord is omnipresent, he takes care about everything.I do everything according to my conscience. Now I encounter my nerve perpetually prays without my will and choose, I maintain sounding it. I told him it would be like that until his thought was not captured by anything in this world. As soon as “youre ever” captured, whatever it was possible to, you will hear the heart stops prayering. Your heart prayes without your will.You talk but you forever hear it. When you get free grace, you cannot describe it with terms. Exclusively the one who received free grace can understand it. I used to think that Holy Fathers who received free grace hindered it till the end of their lives. However, when I examined the works of Holy father, they say a person should not hope for it. Merely uncommon parties reach that. For instance, Apostle Paul, Saint Mary Egyptian and those Saints who sinned a good deal in their life. When they turned to the Lord, they did not examine neither left nor right.Right at the Lord. Only they can keep the grace for the rest of their lives. We, whose feelings are still confined to the world, easily get bind. We will lose the grace. Not entirely. It is inside of us. Nonetheless, it will not be felt that heart prays alone. That exultation, treaty. It’s gone. From time to time, comfort, and then war. It perpetually proceeds like that. We shall not be required to be hope for it. Only then we can understand the states of angels and Saints. When Lord leader with the Holy spirit. Angels are also guided by the Holy Spirit. The human someone is also guided by the Holy Spirit when there is free grace. There are no speculations of this world! You cannot appreciation it at all.You know how you used to be. You used to get angry. Now you cannot get angry. No party can get you angry. You cannot is clear that. And then you will feel heinous joyfulnes. You are invariably rapturous. You can always start crying when you see that everything accepts because of our twilight. You can cry for everything. It is joy and peace heinous. Nothing of this world is negative, impure or whatever. You cannot comprehend it. As it happens, beings are attracted to women and women to guys. Reckons are in struggle. “Were not receiving” such battle at all because the soul is smothered and guided by Holy Spirit. “Theres anything” negative ..